I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
