i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
