You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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