Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
