There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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