Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
