The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
