doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
