he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize