Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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