Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
