Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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