Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize