i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
