Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
