i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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