I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
