wakey wakey hands off snakey
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't deserve a penis
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
