It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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