Got a toothbrush?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
