I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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