So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
