I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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