mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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