i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
