Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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