i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
