so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
