My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
