I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
