Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
