This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the raccoons are back...
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