I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
