I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
