she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize