my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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