The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
