I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
