Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
someone owes me an orgasm
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
