i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
