Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
