your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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