I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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