Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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