who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
