i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
