im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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