i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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