i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize