Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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