I showed him my bush... on skype.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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