you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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