I accidentally burped into my bong.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
