pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
