whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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