I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
